


A Summer to Remember...or Forget

by onlyhereforellick



Category: NCIS
Genre: Angst, F/M, minor language, post s16e24
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-22
Updated: 2019-09-15
Packaged: 2020-07-10 20:47:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 10,649
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19911964
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/onlyhereforellick/pseuds/onlyhereforellick
Summary: Will it be a summer to remember forever, or one that they will desperately try to forget?(aka my take on the Summer 2019 hiatus)Moments after he poured his heart out to her, she stomped all over it. She sniffled, this better be damn worth it. And with that thought, she was gone.





	1. “It’s Always Been You”

**Author's Note:**

> Got this idea from a request for @HelloKaelyn by @RoguePrincessDanie - thanks for the inspiration! The ideas for it kept rolling so I’m turning it into a chaptered fic, we will see how that goes... bear with me!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Moments after he poured his heart out to her, she stomped all over it. She sniffled, this better be damn worth it. And with that thought, she was gone.

With Kasie’s words ringing in his head, he willed himself to knock. These nerves were new to him,  _blame it on Kasie,_ he thought,  _blame her and her stupid scenarios_. _Bishop getting drugged, pshh she was a badass agent, she’d never get drugged. But..._ he thought back to the time where he would’ve said the same about himself...and got pissed all over again. Pissed at the thought of Ellie being drugged and confused, pissed at himself for being a coward and never telling her how he felt, and pissed he  _still_ hadn’t knocked. 

_Ay Dios mío, just knock already!_ Taking that fortifying breath, he let a more confident-sounding than he felt knock ring out in the silence of the night. 

It took a few seconds but when she finally opened the door, rubbing her eyes groggily in nothing but an old shirt of his he’d left at her place forever ago and undies, all doubt vanished. 

Recognition dawned in her sleepy eyes, “Nick?” she wondered aloud, “what’s going on? What are you doing here?”

“Ellie, it’s you.” He replied. 

“Nick...what- what’s me?” she asked him, not tracking his simple statement. 

“It’s you, it’s always been you,” he repeated and seconds was all she had till his mouth was on hers with a sense of desperation mingled with pent up desire and passion. And in those seconds her sole focus was on that soft, vulnerable, completely raw look she saw in his eyes. It was exciting and terrifying all at the same time. 

A meeting of mouths turned into a frenzy of touches, tangling of limbs, and before she knew it there she was—on her bed, laying next to him,  _*finally*_ she thought, more at peace than she had felt in a long damn time. It was like she was home. 

She turned her head just slightly to see Nick more clearly, thankful his chest was heaving just as hard as hers. That soft look was still there, but a tiny bit of apprehension was now mixed in, highlighted by the slight furrow to his brow. Almost like he just realized he had quite literally pounced on her unexpectedly. 

“It’s always been you, Ellie.”

“So you said earlier,” was her only reply since—despite being thrilled for the turn of events—she was still baffled by this revelation and just a bit worried for her own heart if it left as quick as it came. 

“From the moment I met you, there was something special, I just couldn’t quite place it,” he paused, searching her eyes for... _understanding, maybe?_ Ellie wondered. 

“Go on,” she probed. 

“There were little things, here and there, that attracted me to you. And for the longest time, honestly, I figured it was just itch I’d need to scratch and it would go away.

He paused as she winced, “but- but that changed, I swear! When you kissed me as Charlie, at first it confirmed my theory, and boy was it a strong itch. I knew I’d never get the chance to, not after all that we both have been through, so I shoved it down.” He took a deep breath and shuddered, “then- then I almost lost you, twice. That’s, that’s when I knew, well almost knew. This was not quite an itch. And yet still, I hesitated on acting on my new-found feelings. It wasn’t worth it, upturning your life and your feelings for a glorified, maybe slightly more than an ‘itch’? That wouldn’t be fair to you—”

Sucking her teeth to start to disagree, he silenced her rebuttal with a quick shake of his head.

“I wish I could say I finally got my head out of my ass on my own, but sadly I’d be lying. That honor goes to Kasie,” he chuckled at her now confused look, “yep, Kasie showed me the light. While I wish she had gone about it differently, I saw it. Was not happy about it in the moment, but then I reached down, I did the touchy-feely stuff,” he said as he graced her with a quick smirk, “and I realized. It really has, always been you. You are the woman I want to stand next to from now till forever. You are the woman I want to raise my kids with. You are the woman I want to wake up next to every day and kiss good morning. You are the woman I want, simply. And I know that’s a lot, very fast, but I can’t hold it in anymore—”

He was interrupted this time, but not by Ellie, by her cell ringing. She glanced at it, an unknown number calling her at 2 in the morning, she hit decline and turned back to him.

Before she could even open her mouth to speak, it started ringing again. She hit decline, again. Within moments, the damn thing was ringing. 

“Just answer it, it could be serious. I’ll be here, waiting,” Nick said with a wink that promised so much more than just tonight. 

She answered with a curt, “Hello?”

_“Eleanor, it’s Ziva. I need you to remain calm, say nothing, and keep your face blank. Nick cannot know this.”_ How Ziva knew Nick was with Ellie was but a blip on her radar. Stunned into silence and compliance, she let Ziva continue,  _”Gibbs is in trouble. There is nothing more that can be told on the phone. In your bathroom cabinet there is a small bag, take it and leave. Do whatever possible to ensure Nick does not follow you—for Gibbs’ sake and yours. There will be further instructions in the bag; I trust you know what to do.” _

And with that, she hung up. As quickly as she had called, Ziva was gone. Her cryptic directions were still hanging in the air, but before Ellie could overthink anything, Nick interrupted her thoughts. 

“Earth to Ellie...you okay? Who was that?” Nick asked her, obviously bewildered at the strange middle-of-the-night call. 

Well, that made two of them, but in just a moment longer Ellie snapped to and with a sinking feeling in the pit of her stomach she knew she wouldn’t like what was coming. 

“Just...an old coworker at the NSA, we used to be close. He- uh, he was calling to check in.”

“At 2 o’clock in the morning?” Nick questioned matter of factly.

Ellie knew what she had to do. Ziva said to make sure Nick wouldn’t follow her. Well, there was only one way that would happen. And if the wrenching in her gut and cracking in her chest were any indication, this was going to hurt. This heartbreak, this was going to leave more than just a mark. For both of them. 

“Yeah, he- he and I, um, are close again.” She paused to gage Nick’s reaction as she prepared to let the bomb drop, “Remember Jake?” His expression turned murderous but she went on, “We decided to try to repair our marriage. Our therapist taught us this technique, we- uh, call each other randomly and list off reasons why we love—” a choked sound escaped Nick at that word, “each other. And then we hang up. It helps with selflessness communication apparently,” she fibbed through her teeth. 

It was quite possibly the most outrageous lie she’d ever told. But she knew Nick, she knew how the fury he’d feel when she mentioned Jake would cloud all rational thought, how he would be so pissed he would shut her out for a while, how—especially after everything he just revealed—he would be deeply, deeply hurt. And that part, that killed her. That bomb she dropped? Yeah, right on her heart. The shrapnel shredding what was already broken the moment she realized what had to be done. But when she heard Ziva’s voice, the woman who faked her own death and had hid from her closest friends and family for years, Ellie knew whatever brought her out of hiding was pretty damn important.  _Hopefully_ , she thought,  _hopefully Nick will understand someday._

Today, was definitely not that day, though. For a second, she thought he would say nothing, just walk out in silent rage. But he was full of surprises today, it seemed. He opened and closed his mouth several times, and finally got out, “Bullshit. I call bullshit, Ellie.”

Sensing the start of fight, one she clearly didn’t have the time for, she grabbed her throw blanket to cover herself and lifted herself from the bed. Quickly grabbing clothes from her dresser she turned to the bathroom to change and grab this mysterious bag, she replied without looking him in the eye, “Nick, I’m sorry, but it’s true. And I can’t- I can’t do this to you. I got caught up in the moment, but it’s true. Jake and I have reconciled, and I want, no I need to see if I can save my marriage.” With a strangled noise in the back of her throat she hoped he missed she got out, “We want a family, we uh- we started trying a few weeks ago.” 

And with one last glance at him because apparently she wanted to shred her heart further, she saw the pure pain reflected in his eyes. Now she had silenced him. Waiting a beat longer she stood at the doorway of her bedroom, staring at the man she loved. With a final short breath in to halt the tears from spilling over, she turned and over her shoulder stated, “It wasn’t supposed to be like this Nick, I’m sorry. Lock up when you leave, please.” 

She didn’t look back, she couldn’t. She walked out on him. Moments after he poured his heart out to her, she stomped all over it. She sniffled, this better be damn worth it. And with that thought, she was gone. 


	2. Two and a Half Months

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Damn him if he wouldn’t do anything to get her back. He would find her. She wasn’t gone yet—not if he had anything to say about it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wellllll I don’t *love* it, but I needed to get it up so I could move on. Sorry if it feels awkward/rushed!
> 
> Also could have very well missed some mistakes - got real sick of editing this one at the end.

Ellie was gone. Really, truly gone. 

She walked out of her own apartment leaving him sitting on her bed, naked.  _Well that’s a first_ , he thought to himself with a dry chuckle because he was apparently a masochist now.

While he knew he was taking a small risk laying it all on her, he didn’t foresee *this* happening. He was prepared for her to be wary, but to flat out cut off all attempts at a future with him—he never imagined this would be the outcome. And it wasn’t like she didn’t want a future husband and kids,  _no, she wants that with Jake_ , he thought moving quickly past shock to downright fury as soon as he thought his name.  _That scum, she’s with that scum. Having scum babies. FUCK._

But not only was he furious, he was hurt, damn it! Why couldn’t she stay to talk about it? He figured she owed him at least that, a conversation. Not a throw down, walk out, see ya never. And wow, the hurt sucked. He hadn’t felt this way even when Sophia finally passed. He shuddered at that thought, that was really just how much Ellie meant to him. The air whooshed out of his lungs, empty replaced the hurt in his heart. Empty of hope, empty of love, empty of joy. She was gone. Really, truly gone.

He stood to get up and the room spun for a second from the whirlwind of emotions, steadying himself he lugged his now heavy feet ( _or was that what remained of his heart?_ ) to her door. He paused at the threshold, looking back remembering the amazing times they had shared here and now the passionate one he’d love to forget but knew he never would. 

He breathed out a heavy sigh, turned off her lights—all but the hall light so she could see her way around when she returned. Even with his heart ripped out, stomped on, shredded, and tossed back, he still couldn’t not look out for her.  _He probably always would_ , he thought. Closing and locking the door with his spare key,  _but he couldn’t, she has Jake now_. 

He took his heavy feet and trudged to the car and called the only person who would understand, Kasie. As the phone was ringing and ringing—it  was 3 in the morning at this point—Nick stewed. His emotions continued to run rampant through his mind; this is why he didn’t do the touchy-freely stuff. 

Kasie finally picked up sleepily, “Hello? ...Nick?”

Silence filled the night as Nick couldn’t get the words out.

“Nick? Nick?” more urgently and now definitely awake, “Hello? Are you okay??”

Finally, he got it together enough to choke out, “Yes, well no, but...yes.”

“Oooooh-kay. You do realize it’s 3AM right?” Kasie sounded quite confused; he couldn’t blame her either. He wasn’t coherent—in his head or out loud to her. 

“Kasie, she’s gone.”

“Nick, you’re not making sense, who’s gone? Why don’t you come to my place, I’ll make you tea, you don’t sound alright.”

“No, I’ll- I’ll be okay. I just need time...time off the grid,” he realized as he answered her, “yeah, I’m going off the grid. If Ellie can just leave, well so can I.”

“Wait...Ellie’s gone?! What happened??” Kasie inquired now clearly frantic with the turn this conversation had taken.

“She’s not gone gone, just gone from me. She didn’t want me, she wanted Jake. So I’ll take the hint and go.” He paused briefly, but continued before Kasie could interject, “Don’t try to contact me, Kasie. Don’t have McGee follow me. I’m serious. I need this time away from everything. It’s all too much; this past year was too much. I’ll be back come September.”

He hung up before Kasie could try to argue. With a renewed mindset and a plan taking shape, he turned off his phone, took out the battery and threw it out of his car.  _Look at that_ ,  he sneered to himself,  _he could be gone, too_.

———

His plan worked wonders, until...it didn’t. He kept himself busy: he did yoga,  _but without those stupid goats_ , he took a mixed martial arts class,  _not stupid paint classes_ , he went to a classic car show,  _forget that stupid Comic Con_ ; he tried everything, but slowly thoughts of that night months ago— _2 months 1 week and 3 days to be exact_ — creeped back in.  _Stupid, stupid, stupid_.  Those thoughts were not pleasant. And as a result he started envisioning many a things he wanted to do to Jake, none of which were friendly.  _Freaking scumbag.  __He doesn’t even deserve her._

He managed to keep those thoughts in check, for like, a week. And eventually he had had enough, he was done just “thinking” about it. It was time to act on it, give Jake a piece of his mind. He tracked Jake down outside of his favorite restaurant, Chez Nicole.  _He still went to the place he cheated on Ellie with? The arrogant bastard._

He bided his time until Jake was finally leaving and turning down the alleyway to get back to work. Seeing his face fueled the rage Nick had kept locked away for months, and when he finally got his hands on him, he _maybe_ threw him a touch harder than necessary against the side of the building. Holding him only by the lapels of his suit, Nick seethed, “What the hell are you doing back here?”

A very obviously rattled and slightly terrified Jake stuttered, “ba-, back-, back here?”

“Yes,” Nick hissed, “back here. You know- the restaurant Ellie found you at. Having an affair. How dare you do that to her AGAIN. After everything she’s been through. You don’t fucking deserve her.”

Jake’s confusion was evident across his face as Nick talked, but slowly his eyes slipped down and his face fell. With just a murmur under his breath Jake replied, “I know, I didn’t deserve her.”

Nick’s anger slowly faded in the dejected look Jake emulated, probably because he knew that feeling all too well. The feeling of knowing damn well you weren’t good enough for Eleanor Bishop. Knowing you might not deserve her, but you’d give it a shot. Knowing that shot failed, that Eleanor Bishop chose someone else, just like she should.  _But...Jake shouldn’t be feeling that way right now, she chose him_ , he realized. 

“At least she came back to you, you have a second chance. Don’t screw it up again by coming here,” Nick spat out jerking his chin to the nearby restaurant. 

The utter confusion was back in place, “what do you mean- second chance? I haven’t seen Ellie in years.”

“But, she said you guys were fixing your marriage... going to therapy... trying for a family...”

Shaking his head and looking to his feet, “Man, I wish. I wish I hadn’t screwed up so bad the first time. Maybe we’d be there—but no, I can’t remember the last time I’ve talked to Ellie, let alone see her.”

Realizing he was still pinning Jake to the building, Nick released his lapels and Jake stumbled down to get his feet under him again. Jake brushed off his suit and adjusted his glasses, shot Nick one lastknowing glance filled with pity and quickly scurried off while Nick was still speechless in a trance. 

His mind was going a mile a minute; he kept coming back to the same question:  _why the hell did she lie?_

A second longer to attempt to collect his swirling thoughts, Nick took off towards her apartment, with determination etched across his face. He would find out that answer. Because he might just have a fighting chance to win over the woman of his dreams. And that was worth all this pain. 

He shoved down that small voice in the back of his head that taunted him with scenes from his nightmares—Ellie lied because she was in danger, serious danger. And he let months go by without doing anything because of his bruised ego. He hoped to hell that the voice was wrong.

———

Arriving at her apartment a little less than an hour later— _damn DC traffic_ — he pulled out his spare key and let himself into her place. He was met with a wall of stale, hot air. The hairs on the back of his neck stood on end and his gut twisted. Suddenly on high alert, he inventoried his surroundings. The hall light switch indicated it was on but the bulb was out, the AC hadn’t been turned on in quite a while— _maybe the power was out?_ — familiar dirty dishes in the kitchen sink had started to grow mold, a gallon of milk on the counter giving off a rancid smell. What brought that small voice out screaming was the sight of their clothes strewn across her floor and the sheets on the bed tossed to the side, just like they’d left it...two and a half months ago. 

That question changed and blared in his head:  _Where the hell was Ellie?_ Closely followed by a second,  _was she alive?_

He gulped, refusing to go there yet. In a matter of seconds he was calling Kasie. Surely she had heard from Ellie. A few frustrating moments later he learned that no, in fact, she hadn’t heard from Ellie and assumed she was also off the grid enjoying her summer vacation. Wasting no time he dialed McGee. 

“Have you seen Bishop?” There was no time for small talk and pleasantries. 

“Torres? What?” McGee understandably a little lost with Nick’s lack of context. 

“Bishop, have you seen or heard from her recently? Didn’t you guys go to Comic Con together?”

“Uhh, no. We didn’t. I never heard from her when we tried to set things up, I figured she was doing her ‘off the grid’ thing again with you... Are you saying you haven’t been with her?”

“I’ve- I uh- last spoke with her a little over two months ago. We got into an argument and she ran out of her apartment. McGee, I’m there now, it’s the exact same as she left it.”

“As in, you think she hasn’t been back in months?” McGee asked, his voice laced with worry now. 

“I’m trying hard not to overreact, but yeah, that’s what I’m thinking. Kasie hasn’t heard from her either. This isn’t good; ping her phone, now.”

“Ok, ok give me a second—I’m at home, I’ll get my laptop.”

As he waited for McGee to do his nerd thing faster, his eyes continued to roam the empty apartment. They landed on his old shirt Ellie had been wearing as her pajamas, she had looked so adorable in it. That thought stopped him cold—she was wearing  _his_ shirt. Not another guys, not her own, but his. She wanted to surround herself in him at a vulnerable and intimate time in one’s day. She had feelings for him despite what she said that night. 

_Shit_.  It all clicked—she had lied to protect him, it was the only explanation. Something serious happened and she knew him well enough to know how to lead him astray in order to keep him out of it. She had said exactly what he needed to hear to leave her alone, for a while. 

Well, it worked. He had disappeared on his partner, his best friend, and his love for months, actual months. And now, who knows where she was, what she was doing, if she was even alive.  _Shit_. 

“McGee, you got anything?!” Nick was done waiting; no he’d sat on his ass long enough. 

McGee hesitated, “uhhhh... well, her phone is off and I can’t remotely turn it on.”

“Fuck. Call Gibbs.”

“Are you sure it’s that serious? You sure she doesn’t just want a break from all of us?” McGee questioned. 

“I’m calling Gibbs. Ellie’s in danger, I can feel it.”

Nick using the other line rang Gibbs, and it continued to ring, and ring, and ring. Nothing. 

“Gibbs isn’t answering either, ping him.”

“If he gets pissed this is on you Torres...”

Nick felt it was better if he didn’t reply at the moment, the seeds of anxiety intertwined with anger were taking hold and starting to grow. 

“His phone is off, too. Can’t be turned on.” McGee stated, officially concerned. 

“This is not good, when was the last time you saw either of them?”

Nick could hear the wheels turning in McGee’s head as he thought back, “Honestly it was probably back during Emily Fornell’s case. I haven’t seen either of them since we left work that day.”

“Other than that night at Bishop’s, same here.” Nick paused a beat, “I think they’re missing, Tim.”

“I don’t want to overreact, but I certainly don’t like the looks of this. I’ll call it in, get over to NCIS now so we can start digging. I’ll meet you there.”

“I’m already on my way,” Nick ended the call and took one last look around. He was overwhelmed with emotions—mostly of the pissed off kind—but if he thought about it too closely, he was scared. Terrified to his core that Ellie was hurt and he had been too pigheaded to have seen something was off before. He grabbed his old shirt she wore that night, brought it up to his face, and took a deep inhale of her perfume mixed with his faded cologne. An errant realization entered the storm in his head,  _he might have just discovered his favorite scent_ , he thought ruefully as he tucked it away. 

Damn him if he wouldn’t do anything to get her back. He would find her. She wasn’t gone yet—not if he had anything to say about it.


	3. “More Life to Live”

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He whispered his love for her over and over. This couldn’t be it; this couldn’t be the end.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *finally* sat down and actually wrote this chapter out, sorry it took so long! life’s been crazy. 
> 
> anyways don’t really love writing action so not sure how it turned out 🤷🏻 next chapter will probably be the end.

_3 months 1 week and 3 days._

That’s how long they’d been at it. Tomorrow would be September; she’d left her home, and her heart, with Nick in May. _He hates me._ She thought back to her biting words, how she knew they’d cut deep. How she knew him so well, almost too well, and was able to construct the most painful but effective way of cutting ties. He wouldn’t follow her. At least not for a while. _Does he even know I’m gone?_ She pondered, _Do any of them know we’re gone?_ The summer hiatus they all took from work and each other was a much needed break, she doubted anyone even realized. They all went their separate ways each summer, they needed that time off. And usually, usually it helped. It helped take away the reminder of lives lost, justice not served, loved ones being utterly wrecked at the notification. It helped with the not so glorious parts of their job.

And yet—now she wished, pleaded that they would take notice. Ziva’s plan had been thorough, perfect...in the beginning. They hit a speed bump when a deep laceration Gibbs had suffered during one of their recon hikes got infected. Gibbs was usually on his game, but you could tell, this threat to his life—probably the most dangerous, most serious threat yet—it was getting to him. Whether it was the last couple of cases they had back at NCIS, or just this new threat, he was spiraling. Old Gibbs would have never tripped over that winding root; new Gibbs was so distracted he took a 5 foot dive into the rocky area of a creek and sliced his hand in the fall. The gash was deep and with the lack of a hospital nearby, their triage was minimal at best. Now new Gibbs was fighting an infection and not doing too hot.

Personally, it was the smell that got to Ellie. It made her absolutely sick. In fact, there were more times than she cared to admit that she ‘went to the bathroom’ when in reality she was puking her guts out after getting a whiff of Gibbs’ infected hand. It had gotten to the point where he’d been sidelined by Ziva, meaning it was just the two of them.

Bringing us to present day: exhausted, worn-out, sick and tired of being tired and sick, Ellie. And if she thought about it, that teeny, tiny voice peeped up and warned her she wasn’t just ‘sick’ from Gibbs’ infection. No, she was repulsed by herself. That lie she told Nick, watching his face crumble, killed her. Knowing she caused him pain and hurt like he’d probably never felt before—now that, that made her sick to her stomach. _How will I *ever* make it up to him?_ She asked herself and quickly retorted with a scoff, _what makes you think he’ll let you?_

Out of all her thoughts, that was probably the scariest. He might not let her ask for forgiveness. He could very easily—and very understandably—shut her out. He doesn’t owe her anything. No, she’s the one who ripped out his heart that he served up on a beautiful platter and stomped all over it. There could very likely never be a future for them, and boy did she want that future with Nick. Of course, she had no one to blame but herself. That thought, that was the one that stopped her cold. Made her shut down, turn into a robot. An AWOL agent, going through the motions. Her heart was gone, and with it, sadly, her appetite was too. It was a silly thing to miss, but in the recesses of her mind, she did. She missed digging into the weirdest chip flavor of the month, pigging out on take out Chinese. Because really, who was Eleanor Bishop without her appetite?

Ziva and Gibbs were too distracted by the mission to save Gibbs— _understandably so_ —to really notice Ellie’s withering away. She kept up physically with Ziva thanks to sheer determination and grit. But either they didn’t seem to notice the empty look in her eyes, or they chose not to bring it up out of respect for her. Surely they both knew why she felt this way. Hell, they probably knew she’d feel this way before she even knew. In ten days they were moving in on the final step in their plan. They would finally corner the man who was trying to have Gibbs wiped from the face of the Earth. They would finally bring him to justice. They would finally get Gibbs the medical attention he needed. They would finally be DONE. _And she would finally see Nick, if he let her._

———

_3 months and 3 weeks._

They had been actively searching for Ellie and Gibbs for over a month, and nothing. The team had spent weeks scouring their digital footprint and paper trail, nada. They were missing something, they both disappeared way too easily and cleanly.

First, it was the lack of signs of a struggle, so they likely weren’t taken against their will. In fact, Gibbs had tidied up his tools and boat-in-progress before he disappeared. You just didn’t do that if you were kidnapped.

Second, it was the calculated nature of leaving literally zero digital footprint. Like, zero. They both took their turns of going off the grid, but never- never like this. And never this long.

Third, it was the timing. They disappeared at the exact same time. But it wasn’t Gibbs who called Ellie’s phone that night, no it was a weird burner phone from Europe. So *how* did they know to leave at the same time and so damn cleanly?

Sitting on the floor of the bullpen one night stuffing his face with bacon brown sugar chips— _because, inspiration?_ —it clicked. There was a third person. A third person who coordinated the entire thing. Knew to go to Gibbs, knew how to get Ellie to leave, and damn it, knew Nick couldn’t be told. Hence the night-that-shall-not-be-named.

He poured over the breadcrumbs they had managed to scour up with a new filter and pieces fell into place. He was calling McGee before he was even in the elevator, “I know where they are. Pick you up in five.”

On the way to McGee’s he had a million and one thoughts racing through his head. So many questions he wanted answers to. How was Ziva alive? Were they all safe? Did Ellie knowingly drop those breadcrumbs, or did he just know her that well? But really, it boiled down to, _does she love me, or was she telling a little bit of truth that night?_

It pained him to have those thoughts, surely she was lying and wanted to be with Nick. But that festering insecurity of failed relationship after failed relationship took hold and blossomed. She hadn’t come to him in potentially the biggest threat of her life. No, she’d shut him out.

He pushed that thought and all the other ones down as soon as he pulled up to McGee’s. He needed to be on his A game and that meant the sole focus was on doing his job, no emotions. _Those could wait for later._

———

The bullets rained down from everywhere, literally everywhere, it seemed. Ellie had flashbacks to the lake with Morgan and the apartment with Vicious. She shoved those aside and tried to focus. She took note of her surroundings—her and Ziva were cornered with only two exits, one of which was now blocked by the drug dealer’s henchmen. Speaking of, the lovely henchmen had reloaded and were back to spraying bullets toward them.

Ziva motioned to cover her as she made her way amid the debris in the warehouse, inching closer to the exit. Ellie quickly got in position and gave one firm nod; she was focused, she was ready to get out of here. Get home. As soon as Ziva came out from their spot, Ellie began to fire back, distracting the men long enough for Ziva to get to cover. They alternated this painstakingly slow process until they were less than twenty feet from the exit.

And then, things happened in slow motion. Ziva went to cover Ellie as she made a break for the old laundry shaft—it was just big enough for the two women, but no one else, thankfully.

A loud commotion sounded from the opposite end of the old clothes warehouse and threw Ellie off balance as she took a quick look towards the sound of the noise.

More bullets continued to tear through the old factory floor, but Ellie recognized the sound of a different type of bullet, one shot through a high powered sniper rifle, one that ripped right through her left shoulder, one that sent her tumbling to the ground only five feet from the blessed exit.

———

Flying up to the old sweatshop factory, Nick threw the car in park and was on his feet sprinting in the next second. He could hear the gunshots and his gut twisted— _please be okay, Ellie, please. I have so much more life to live with you._ A flash bang at the main entrance to the building diverted attention to them for a brief second. Entering the building was a blur, neutralizing threats, watching McGee’s six, but nothing prepared him to see Ellie’s frail body jolt and crumple.

He saw red.

Not a moment later he was sprinting. Sprinting to the woman he loved dearly to save her. Screaming for someone, anyone to call an ambulance. Reaching her limp body and dragging her to cover.

Desperately he tried to keep her awake. With tears streaming down his face and moistening her hair, he held her. While putting pressure on her shoulder, he could see the ever-growing stain seep through her shirt and drench his hand.

He whispered his love for her over and over. This couldn’t be it; this couldn’t be the end.


	4. A Little Bit More

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> She echoed her earlier thought, ‘holy shit’.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ended up not quite finishing it, but next chapter will definitely be the end! it’s time to move on to other ideas :)
> 
> if you picked up on the Easter eggs from the beginning - kudos to you!

_48 hours_.

It had been two days, but it felt like two weeks. Two agonizing days of waiting by her bedside, praying for the moment the doctors would be ready to wake her up. 

Not only had she been shot—fortunately narrowly missing her aorta—and lost a significant amount of blood, she also hit her head, hard, when she crumpled to the ground. So hard, according to the fancy-pants doctor she had a subdural hematoma,  _whatever that is_ ,  he scoffed. Apparently those things combined meant a medically-induced coma for Ellie. 

She looked peaceful. He looked miserable. 

Or at least that’s what Kasie told him when she had stopped by to visit. She tried to force him downstairs to the cafeteria for food, but he refused. He was not leaving her side until she woke up. 

The only time he left the room was when she was getting checked by the nurses, hospital protocol. He wasn’t family or her spouse; therefore, he was out. And honestly, a small part of him was thankful he wasn’t allowed in there for that. It brought up too many repressed memories of Sofia’s treatments. When he was in there with Ellie, he tried to look past all of the stuff she was hooked up to. Tubes down her throat, lines in both hands, wires on her chest, and a band around her midsection. Not to mention all the machines and monitors right next to her bed. 

He did his best to ignore it all, tune out the incessant beeping, and just focus on her. The woman he loved. Her golden locks flowing like ocean waves framed her tanned, yet slightly bruised, face. Long eyelashes shuttered closed keeping him from seeing those warm, caramel-brown eyes full of spark and mischief. He bent over the bed and tucked a piece of hair behind her ear, and if his fingertips trailed down her jaw after, well, he couldn’t help himself. 

This woman might have tried to shut him out, but damn if he would let her any longer. If he was being honest with himself, before Ellie he truly believed he would never find the woman he wanted to spend the rest of his life with. He didn’t deserve to. But then she appeared, trained her gun on him in a back alley. Something had shifted in him that day. He hadn’t realized it then, but boy did he realize it now. 

If she let him, he wanted to be hers forever. He wanted those good mornings, those hard days, those dreamy nights. He wanted a family with her, he wanted it all.But right now, he really just wanted her to wake up. 

He took her hand in his and turned her palm up, stroking it with his thumb he raised it to his lips and closing his eyes, placed a soft kiss to the middle of her hand. He felt her fingers twitch and his eyes flew open to meet her still closed ones. 

Immediately he hit the nurse call button and was on the edge of his feet in a second. “Ellie, Ellie, can you hear me? Please, El please wake up,” he begged her. In response her fingers twitched again. 

The nurse hurried in, took one look at Ellie’s various monitors and paged the doctor. “Nick, I think it’s finally time to try and wake her up,” she said in his direction with an optimistic smile on her face. 

The next few hours were tense, but successful. Ellie was off any major support, breathing on her own, off all drugs. She was still sleeping, but he knew this was a big step in the right direction. McGee stopped by shortly after she was out of her coma and convinced Nick to go grab a crappy hospital coffee with him. Now that Nick knew she was stable and resting on her own volition, he felt better about stretching his legs for a bit and downing some caffeine. He took one last look at Ellie’s peaceful face, slightly glowing despite everything she’d been through, and with a small smile on his face he followed McGee downstairs with a bit more pep in his step than a few days ago.  _She was going to be okay_.

———

Through the fog, she struggled to place what she was feeling. She vaguely remembered getting shot, but the rest was a blur.  _Surely her head wasn’t getting run over by a dump truck repeatedly_...  Blinking through the pain, her eyelids felt like they had duct tape holding them down. Wiggling her achy fingers and toes she finally managed to open her eyes and start to take in her surroundings. Before she could focus on the nurse standing at the foot of her bed, she noticed the stark contrast between the sterile smell of the room and the warm aura she felt. Taking a glance around, she noted the many flowers—and not balloons, but paintings, from all of her loved ones arranged around her bedside in an effort to bring color to the cold hospital walls—her insides warmed despite her situation. She swore she even felt butterflies in her stomach at the thought of her friends doing all of this for her. 

Turning her attention back to the smiling nurse, Ellie just looked at her inquisitively. Her throat had apparently had sandpaper taken to it, so she didn’t even attempt to speak. 

“Hi Miss Bishop, welcome back,” the nurse opened with, “let me go grab the doctor. He’ll be able to tell you what happened.”

Ellie nodded in reply and settled back into her pillows for no more than a minute before the doctor was strolling in. 

“Morning Miss Bishop, it’s good to see you awake,” he started and quickly continued, “I’ll cut to the chase—you did lose a lot of blood and with the fall you took, you hit your head, hard enough to give you essentially a large bruise on your brain. We felt in necessary to induce a coma for a little over 2 days to allow for the swelling and bruising to go down. Sometime in the middle of the night yesterday, you started to show signs of readiness to be awake on your own, so we slowly weaned you off.” He paused for a brief second and what looked like,  _relief, maybe?_ flashed across his face and she just then noticed how tired the doctor looked. How it almost looked like a huge weight had been lifted from his shoulders. He went on, “You’re a fighter though that’s for damn sure, despite it all, you both are going to be okay,” he finished with a satisfied, but weary smile. 

Her mind was still a little fuzzy from the sedatives, so it took her a second longer than normal to process his words. Suddenly alarmed she rasped out in barely more than a whisper, “ _ **both?!**_ ” Her mind immediately assumed worst case scenario—Ziva must be injured too. There had been no one else in that factory with them.  _Oh no, please tell me she’ll be okay, she deserves to be reunited with her family. After all she’s been through, please she’s got to be okay._ She added to her earlier exclamation, “ _Ziva??_ ” One word was all she had in her at this point, hopefully they understood. 

Both the nurse and the doctor looked utterly confused, slowly they turned to each other. The nurse was the first to put it together, her mouth opening to form an ‘O’ and the doctor soon followed suit. Swiveling on his heel, a knowing yet apprehensive grin spread across his face as the nurse came to her side and went to hold her hand.  _Alright what the heck is going on here_... she wondered, these two were starting to scare her. 

“Ellie—if I may—” Ellie nodded, a bit frantically, for him to continue, “your friend Ziva is perfectly okay. Actually, take a look at that monitor to your right,” he paused to point to a screen; she followed his gaze to what appeared to be a little white line pulsing across the length of the monitor— a heartbeat, maybe?  It’d been a little while since she was in a hospital room, and frankly she typically liked to block out those visits afterwards. But there was a little number right under the line, it read 152. _Huh, that seemed a little high for her, but maybe that was a side effect of the blood loss?_ She curbed her wandering thoughts and refocused on the doctor. 

He went on, that smile getting bigger, “Ellie, that’s your baby’s heartbeat. You’re almost 19 weeks along.”

Ellie’s mind went blank...for a second.

_Ho-ly. Shit_.

Her hands flew to her abdomen. She finally noticed the belt around her midsection,  _that must be how they’re getting the heartbeat_ , she surmised errantly. And now that her attention was on her belly, she noticed a slight curve to it—just the barest of curves, but alas, it was there. 

_Ho-ly. Shit._

_A baby._

_Her baby._

_NICK’s baby._

_Oh my god, how am I going to tell him! I crushed him, I can’t casually say, ‘hey we’re having a baby, hope you forgive me for that little thing earlier! So nursery themes?’_

_A baby._

_Holy. Shit_. 

The nurse broke her internal freak out, “Ellie? I take it you didn’t know?”

She shook her head furiously...and bringing a hand to her temple, regretted the motion immediately as her head throbbed harder than before. 

“I know it’s a lot Ellie, but just so you know, the baby, he or she is just as much of a fighter as you. All of baby’s vitals and markers are perfect. You’d never know you both went through what you went though.”

Ellie’s head begged to differ, but the nurse’s statement did bring some reprieve. This could’ve turned out much worse, that it didn’t she would be forever thankful. 

The nurse rose from her side and joined the doctor at the door, “you should get some rest, you’ll both need it,” she stated with a wink. 

_Rest, pfft, yeah okay_.  Her mind raced a mile a minute, putting pieces of events together over the last few months. Shocked she hadn’t figured it out earlier, she must have been so distracted by the mission she didn’t notice her body changing, the loss of appetite, the nausea, the exhaustion. 

But in all of that she kept coming back to one worry:  _How was she going to break the news to Nick? He hated her, I mean how could he not?_ _He wouldn’t want to start a family with her after that._ And she didn’t blame him. Despite the joyous news, her heart broke just a little bit more with the thought of what could have been if she hadn’t screwed it up.

_What was she going to do?_

Turns out, she had seconds to compose herself as she spotted Nick and Tim animatedly strolling down the hallway back to her room.

She echoed her earlier thought, _holy shit_.


	5. One to Remember, Forever.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Breaking apart, whispered “I love you’s” traveled between them. And this summer, oh, it would be one to remember, forever.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This took wayyyy longer to get up that I wanted it to, life got in the way 😔 Anyways hopefully it’s worth the 2ish week wait! Sorry!

It had been one week. 

One week since she found out she was going to be a mom. One week since she was now a party of two and not one. One week since her world got turned upside down. And one week since she still had not told Nick.

_Stupid, stupid, stupid_ , she told herself. She  _had_ to tell him at some point. She had already allowed a week to go by, she couldn’t let months or years pass by and him not know. No, she had gotten a sense of what that did to a person while getting closer to Ziva. It had torn Ziva apart emotionally, she couldn’t repeat that mistake. 

_But how...?_ It was the question she kept coming back to: but how would she break the news, but how would he take it, but how would they cope going forward. It was the reason she *still* had not told him. 

Not long after the doctor graced her with the news she was pregnant, Ellie asked him to ensure no one else visiting found out. She was not ready to share that with her team yet, and she had enough of a grasp on HIPAA laws that she knew he had to keep it a secret. She also ceased all visitors after the following day, too many prying eyes. While she loved her family and friends, she really was not mentally prepared to break the news, or have someone accidentally break the news. She told them she needed time to recoup and rest before she was discharged, and they honored her wishes. 

So Ellie told no one, and up until a few days after waking up—the day of her discharge—no one knew. Or so it seemed. 

“Ellie, you have to tell him.” 

Turning her head so fast she was sure to have whiplash later, Ellie’s eyes flew to Kasie standing in the doorframe of her hospital room. “What do you mean? Tell who what?” Ellie decided to play dumb briefly. Hopefully Kasie wasn’t talking about what Ellie thought she was talking about.

“Ellie, I saw the fetal monitor, I know. But I also know, no one else knows.” Kasie stated bluntly,  _which was a little unlike her_ , Ellie thought,  _man she must really be upset with me._

“I just- I don’t know how, Kasie. I mean, will he even want to have a child with me after what I said, what I put him through?” she wondered aloud to her colleague and friend. “I wouldn’t even know where to start. I hurt him so bad.”

“Oh trust me, I know you did,” Kasie interjected as Ellie winced, “And after I basically told him to put it all out there, you just took off; he was messed up, El. Really messed up.”

Ellie’s face fell, and the rush of guilt came swooping back in. She had known she hurt him, but a small piece of her had hoped, deep down, that Nick might have already forgiven her. That he had seen the reason why she did it and moved on. But of course he hadn’t—he shouldn’t, frankly. She said horrible things, she deserved whatever amount of anger he’d like to throw her way. 

“But he still deserves to know, Ellie. That baby is just as much his as it is yours,” Kasie interrupted her swirling, depressing thoughts, “and who knows, he might surprise you.” 

She turned on her heel before Ellie could even muster a reply. Who knew Kasie of all people would come to be the voice of reason, and who knew Kasie and Nick had grown so close for her to be almost protective over him? Theirs was a peculiar friendship to say the least...

So instead of going home happy to finally be away from the hospital smells, sights, and food, she found herself trudging out to the parking lot and realizing she didn’t even have her car.  _Hah! Well duh, you wouldn’t have a car here. You came in an ambulance and then you told everyone to go away, brilliant, Eleanor._

Standing on the front patio of the hospital, momentarily frozen on what to do next, she didn’t see the beat-up old truck pull up to an exact stop right in front of her. Not until the driver was slamming his door shut and rounding the front of the vehicle did she take notice of her rescuer, Nick.  _Wait, it’s Nick?_ Now shocked and standing still for a whole other reason, Ellie just stared mouth slightly a gape. 

Nick wordlessly, took her hospital-issued drawstring bag of personal effects and placed them in the cab of the truck and opened the passenger door for her. She snapped out of her trance and shuffled into the seat, but realized quite quickly it was near impossible to climb into a truck without using your left arm. Thankfully, Nick picked up on her dilemma just as fast and stepped closer to help her. Before she even registered what was happening, Nick from behind had placed his strong, capable hands on her hips, effortlessly lifted her up and into the seat while his warm thumbs brushed along her bare skin as her sweater rode up with the sudden movement. Her breath whooshed from her lungs as she plopped down into the seat and the intimate contact with Nick. She couldn’t even formulate a thank you before the door was thrown closed and Nick was hopping into the driver’s side. Without a word, he took off towards her place.

Stunned into silence at this turn of events—moments ago she was standing stupidly outside of a hospital with no means of transportation home because she was too cowardly to tell anyone about her pregnancy—and now, the one person she needed to tell, but was absolutely terrified to tell, was magically here, with her car driving to her house. Yet, he still had not said a single word to her.

She mustered up the courage to finally eek out a meager expression of gratitude that didn’t nearly match how she felt, “thanks for uh-, thanks for this,” she said just barely over a whisper as she gestured vaguely around the front of the truck. 

He nodded.

With a gulp she accepted it. What she had done couldn’t be forgiven. She couldn’t even be upset with him for it. No, she was just disappointed in herself. And with a heavy sigh, she folded her good hand in her lap and focused intently on it. Hoping that traffic was light and she’d be home in no time because what she really needed was her bed and a good, long, cry.

———

Nick gave Ellie her space even if it killed him a little with each day that passed. When she had ordered everyone to stop visiting, honestly, he was confused. There didn’t seem to be a rhyme or reason to it, she claimed it was to rest, but...he wasn’t buying it. Something was up with her, he just couldn’t put a finger on  _what_ that was. 

He listened, well, for the most part. He avoided her hospital room, but that didn’t mean he wasn’t about to take advantage of her spare apartment key. He placed a call to the electric company, paid her overdue bill, and got her service restarted in an afternoon. He picked up around the living room, scrubbed the disgusting, moldy dishes, restocked her fridge with the essentials— _well, Ellie essentials, not a normal person’s essentials_ — he thought with a rueful chuckle. The bedroom though, that he saved for last. Memories of their passionate night smacked him in the face as he crossed the threshold, followed quickly by sorrow flooding in. Sorrow for how a night that should’ve been remembered as the beautiful start to his first meaningful relationship is now threatened to be forgotten in the rush of events that proceeded it. Inhaling a deep breath and letting his eyes slide shut for a beat, he exhaled and got started on putting the room back together. What seemed like ages later, it was finally acceptable...but it felt like it was missing something.

Turning to go, he’d be back soon to bring Ellie home—he was almost positive she hadn’t realized she didn’t have her truck at the hospital—he recognized what was missing,  _Ellie and her laugh_ , he thought woefully. Who knew when he’d get to hear that again, now that she’d shut him and everyone else out. 

———

Which brought him to today, silently stewing that she  _still_ had barely talked to him. No cheerful greeting at the hospital’s front door, no quiet scolding for driving her truck, no mention of that disastrous night, nothing. And so, he stewed. In the back of his mind he recognized this behavior might have been half the reason that night was such a disaster, but still! She lied, she left, she twisted the knife in his heart, he deserved  _something_ , anything. 

When she mumbled a meek thanks, he didn’t have the energy to finagle a reply. He was pretty sure he’d regret what’d come out, so he stayed silent the remainder of the trip. He walked Ellie to her door and used his key to let her in. He gave her a nod as he shut the door and walked back to his car parked further down the street, checked out, drained, and angry from the day. 

Which is how he found himself on autopilot to their regular Chinese place ordering take out. And standing there, picking out her favorite dishes he had memorized, he checked himself. He had laid it all on the line months ago, but wasn’t man enough to follow through then and fight for what he wanted. That ended now.  _Enough of this wallowing shit, go fight for your woman_ ,  he thought to himself. 

A renewed sense of energy and passion drove Nick back to her place, foregoing knocking he let himself in. Immediately he heard muffled sobs and sniffling from her bedroom. Throwing the Chinese on the kitchen counter, he rounded the corner and came to a halt at the doorway to her room. 

Head snapping up, Ellie began to furiously wipe at the tears stroking her cheeks and drenching her hair. Snot was getting everywhere and her eyes were rimmed red; she’d say she looked a mess, he’d say she looked beautiful. 

“Ellie.” 

Sniffle, “Nick. Wh- what are you doing here?” Sniffle. 

“I brought you Chinese. I figured you’ve missed it.” No sooner had he uttered the word Chinese did she burst into gut-wrenching sobs that seemed to tear through her chest.  _What did he say wrong??_

He rushed to her side on the bed and grabbed her good shoulder, “Ellie?? What’s wrong??” He wracked his brain trying to think of how bringing up Chinese food could have caused this onset of tears...he came up empty. “Ellie? Did you want something else?”

Sniffling rapidly and wiping more snot across her face she got out between big deep breaths to calm herself, “No, no, no, that’s fine—“ deep breath, “Chinese is fine—“ deep breath, “it’s great even. I’m been craving it.” The tears had begun to stop, she still looked slightly miserable, but maybe a bit perkier?

“Ooooh-kay, well I’ll get it served up,” Nick warily replied as he eased off the bed and headed towards the kitchen. 

As he was spooning piles of fried rice onto plates and grabbing a couple of the beers he had stocked her fridge with, she quietly walked towards him but paused at the edge of the counter. He glanced up at her warily, worried for more tears if he said something unknowingly wrong, yet she looked happier, apprehensive, but happier. 

He gestured toward the table with his free hand, and grabbed the rest of their dishes and drinks to join her. Not until he was seated across from Ellie did Nick notice what she was wearing—his old shirt. The same shirt she had been wearing that fateful night; a small gasp escaped his lips. It brought everything rushing back: how hurt he was, how angry he was, how frustrated he is, and just how in love he is with this damn woman. 

She opened her mouth to say something, but with a curt shake of his head, Nick stopped her before she could start. “Me first,” he exclaimed. “Ellie, you hurt me. I was pissed, honestly, a part of me still is.” Her face fell, but he powered on, he had to get this out. “First you outright lie to my face, a painful, bold lie. Then you disappear for months without a trace, and when I finally do get to you, you shut me out. You’ve said barely more than five words to me since you woke up. Five, Ellie. Five.” 

“I—“ 

“No, don’t apologize, we’re past that. I just want to know why. Actually, no, I don’t. I want to know if any part of it—any tiny part of the lie—was the truth.” Nick demanded of her. He’d had enough of the what if’s and emotional rollercoaster; he knew she’d been through a lot, but he deserved to know if she meant any of what she’d said.

———

Sitting there, across from the man she adored, in her favorite shirt of his, she could see the vulnerability etched into his facial features. He’d deny it, sure, but she knew. She could tell. He was prying open the door to his heart, just a crack, to see if there’d be light on the other side.  _I have to tell him, he deserves to know_ ,  Ellie thought. But first, she had to set the story straight. 

She went to take a big gulp of her beer before starting for some liquid courage, but midway to the bottle thought better of it. Nick eyed her beer frozen in midair and raised an eyebrow but said nothing. With a slight clear of her throat, she replaced the beer and hoped what she had to say would be enough.

“I’ve been falling for you for a while, but in all honesty, I tried to stuff it down. Subconsciously I did that so well I hadn’t even realized you’d become so much more than my best friend and partner.” Looking up to the ceiling as if to gather her thoughts, she went on, “If I had to pinpoint when I really truly knew I loved you—“ Nick took a harsh breath in, “that’d be when we walked our adopted-for-a-weekend baby to his forever home. Standing there at the top of their walkway, I looked into your eyes and I felt heartbreak. Being a parent with you to that baby, even for just a short while, well- it was indescribable, Nick. It felt like someone was taking our own child away from us. I realized something that night, something that terrified me.”

Nick imperceptibly nodded for her to go on. “It’s always been you, Nick. From the moment we met, to every teasing remark, argument, laughter, or roadblock in between, it’s always been you. You said it that night and, oh, I was ready to say it right back to you. I want you in the morning, I want you after work, I want you in the middle of the night. I want you as a father to our children, I want you as a kickass partner, I want you as the passionate husband I know you’ll be. And I know you said no apologies, but Nick I am so, so sorry I said what I said. I hope you can come to forgive me, because I really, really would like to explore these feelings I have for you.” She finally ended and took in a shaky breath. She’d put it all out there, now she could just hope and pray. 

No sooner did she finish her sentence was Nick throwing his chair back, rushing around the table and taking her in his arms. Being here, wrapped up in his strong arms, inhaling his slightly spicy cologne mixed with the warmth that was Nick Torres, she finally felt at peace. All these months had been turmoil and now her world was righted. Tears started to well up as he grabbed hold of her upper arms—careful with her bad shoulder—and held her at arms length. His eyes searched her face and he used a thumb to catch a stray tear falling down her cheek. 

Ellie had to know, “Did you mean what you said that night? All of it?”

Nick looking more composed than she felt with a soft smile on his face replied, “Of course, El. Every last word.”

“Even the part about...wanting a family?” she asked as her eyes slid down to the floor. She remembered what he had said last Christmas about kids, she was terrified he’d be upset about the bombshell she was going to drop. She had to know if his view regarding kids had changed.

She felt the gentle pressure of his fingertips underneath her chin, silently asking her to look him in the eye. Tilting her face to reach his gaze, she waited anxiously for his answer. 

“Eleanor Bishop, I meant every damn word I said. I want you. Any and every way, any and every day, I want you. With kids, without kids, I want you. I mean—“ he paused briefly, “I’m really hoping you’ll want kids because I think you’ll be an amazing, and hot— _wink_ — mom and even an even cuter pregnant lady with our child. But if you want to wait and take it slow, I’m perfectly fine with that too. I just want you, Ellie,” he finished, framing her face in his roughened hands. 

With a shuddering breath in— _here goes nothing_ , she thought. “Well how does about five more months sound for taking it slow?” she questioned him with a small grin.

———

Time seemed to stop for Nick. He repeated her last words several times in his head, in ecstatic disbelief of what they implied. Ellie’s look of hope and excitement was starting to wane and morph into worry and disappointment— _say something already, man!_

“Are you- are you saying what I think you’re saying...? Are we- are we having a baby??” he finally got out as his hands quickly traveled from her face to her belly. The moment he felt the slight round to her abdomen his eyes flew open with awe. “Ay Dios mío! Ellie!” 

His eyes snapped from belly to her face and back several times, until finally with a grin that threatened to hurt his cheeks later, he settled on gazing into her eyes. No words would suffice yet, so he threw all of his emotion into a heart-stopping— _panty-dropping, if you asked Ellie later_ — kiss. And she gave her all right back.

Questions swirled through his head, but none of that mattered. He had his woman, she had her man, and together, they had their baby. Breaking apart, whispered “I love you’s” traveled between them. And this summer, oh, it would be one to remember, forever.


End file.
